I was watching a later episode of Family Matters this week. Carl never told Harriet that he intended to marry the girl he was seeing when he first met her. During a conversation the question came up if Carl had bought this other girl a ring. He answered her positively. Then Harriet asked if the ring she was wearing was intended for the other girl. Reluctantly, Carl said yes. Of course he did not readily understand why she was hurt by his actions.
Let's take a look at it. Carl might have imagined how the girl's face would light up when he gave her the ring, but whose face was he imagining? He had to be thinking about the first girl because that is who he was involved with at the time he was even considering getting married. She was the reason he bought the ring in the first place. He had the ring inscribed because of his deep heartfelt feelings for the first girl. So when Harriet read the inscription it was not meant for her. It was just conveniently written so that a change was not necessary, or so he thought.
Don't make the mistake of not closing the book to past relationships and bringing them into your relationship you have now. Always think about how you would feel if the tables were turned. If you want your birthday to be special, then make your spouse's birthday special. If you want Valentine's Day, Christmas, or any other occasion to be remembered with good feelings, then do the same for your spouse before hand. Don't always just be on the receiving end. That gets old really fast. If your soon to be is not making a big deal about birthdays and other special occasions and you aren't married yet, that is not going to change after you get married. We have no control over the actions of others so don't fool yourself into thinking that your undying love can change him/her. He/she has to want to change before changes take place.
Make it your intentions to do something, say something that constantly reminds your spouse that he/she is the only love of your life. If you started it then do your best to keep it going. Wouldn't you want that to happen to you? Keep your date night even if you have small children. It's even more important now to keep date night going. You don't want your life to revolve just around the children and you find yourself drifting apart. Keep discovering your spouse, because he will change through the years and so will you. So don't be selfish in your thoughts, words, or deeds towards your spouse. Always think about how you would feel if it happened to you.